Why Blog?

I have wanted to start a blog for while but I figured they where for more exciting people than me. I decided that I don't care and if no one reads this... well good. Maybe this one small thing can be just for me. I am 41 years old. A college graduate. A stay at home mom. I am a good cook but a terrible house keeper. I home school my kids. I am fat but somewhat athletic. I enjoy gardening and reading. I am not, under any circumstances, a "people person." I don't get people that are. Don't get me wrong; I like MY people. But definitely not people in general. In fact people in general, pretty much bug me. I know nice Southern Girls are not supposed to say that, but what the heck. I did.
I know my life is not terribly exciting but it is always challenging. I have 2 smart kids (heaven save me from smart children... they see everything and miss nothing!), a sick mother (Invasive breast cancer. When are we going to find a cure for this?), a hard working husband, and more animals than I can count (they outnumber people in our house 2 to 1).
I struggle with lots of things. My weight, money, keeping the house from becoming condemned, religion, and standing up for myself without becoming a raving lunatic. That last one is hard. I try always to do the right thing. When I was younger I assumed most people did as well. As I get older I am shocked by how many people are not at all concerned with "right" or "fair." Perhaps it is hopelessly naive of me to think things should be. I struggle to teach my children to do what is right but to be strong and assertive. I think they will both be better at this than I ever hope to be. I guess that is OK. After all isn't that what mom's are for?
I noticed many bloggers use this space to tell wonderful stories. I think I may use this space for a while to just be. Sometimes being all things to all people makes me forget who I am and who I strive to be. I know I am a mom, daughter, and wife. I am a friend, cook, chauffeur, dog groomer and many other things. But those things are often what I am, not really who. Maybe entering my 40s has inspired a bit of my own midlife crisis. I always had a goal. The point was always to get "over there." More time, money, and fun where always right around the corner and the world was filled with infinite possibilities. I have come to realize that what I have is right now and I better damn well enjoy it. I don't know how long I will have my mother. I do know my kids will not be 9 and 11 forever. It is kind of shocking to realize that now is the time I was always working toward. In some ways it not at all what I pictured. In some ways it is better than I ever dreamed it would be.